The Potential Pitfalls of People-Pleasing in Our Relationships

Have you ever found yourself in a cycle of emotional overwhelm in your relationships? This could very well be due to the amount of emotional energy you’re putting into consistently pleasing the people around you. In using the term “relationships,” I’m not just pointing to the one we have with our significant other(s) – I’m talking about the relationships that exist in each area of our lives – family, friends, loved ones,  co-workers, YOURSELF, etc. These relationships can consume much of our time and energy – which those of us self-proclaimed people-pleasers irrationally think we have an infinite amount of! In case you haven’t reached self-proclamation, I’ll provide the harsh truth: you are one person who has the same amount of time in each day as every other human being on Mother Earth and you will only have so much energy to give to each day. Let’s take some time here to help ourselves better understand the potential pitfalls we are creating in our relationships by being people-pleasers.  Continue reading “The Potential Pitfalls of People-Pleasing in Our Relationships”

Meeting Your Metamour for the First Time

Meeting your partner’s other partner can be very stressful. It can be uncomfortable to spend time with the person whom you know is also dating your partner. For some people, meeting a metamour is a natural thing, and they aren’t phased by it. But most people may feel anxious, nervous, or even jealous as they consider meeting their metamour. They may feel as though their partner or metamour will be judging them, or feel that approval is needed from the metamour – especially if they are the newer partner. If you are feeling nervous about the prospect of meeting your metamour, here are some helpful tips! Continue reading “Meeting Your Metamour for the First Time”

Holidays with Multiple Partners

The Holiday Season can be incredibly stressful for anyone, and having multiple partners sometimes adds to the stress of the season. How should you split your time? What are reasonable expectations in a relationship? Is it possible to celebrate the holidays with everyone? Continue reading “Holidays with Multiple Partners”

Long-Distance Support Networks

Many kinds of people can be a part of your support network. Family, friends, partners, pets, neighbors, teachers, coaches, and clergy can all be part of your personal support system. A mental health clinician or a specific support group can also be a part of your support network. As you go through life, you will often gain new people in your support network, while others will fall away. Having a support system, no matter who it consists of, has been shown to be correlated with higher levels of well-being, and can even reduce stress, depression, and anxiety. Continue reading “Long-Distance Support Networks”

Metamour Relationships: Should You Be Friends with Your Partner’s Partner?

If you are currently in a polyamorous relationship, or are thinking of entering into a polyamorous relationship, it is likely that you will have one or more metamours at some point. Your metamour is someone who is also dating your partner, but with whom you are not also romantically or sexually involved with. For example, if Tanya and Derrick are both dating Sarah, but are not dating each other, Tanya and Derrick are metamours with one another. If Tanya is also dating Liz, and Derrick is married to Stephen, Liz and Stephen are also metamours with Sarah. In this example, Tanya, Derrick, Sarah, Liz, and Stephen all make up one polycule – a system of connected non-monogamous relationships, whether they are all dating or not. Continue reading “Metamour Relationships: Should You Be Friends with Your Partner’s Partner?”